Girls (and guys, you too!), Let’s face it. Has your self-image, especially concerning being attractive, changed since the diagnosis of rheumatism has put your world upside down?
With the diagnosis rheumatism our perception of our body and our many different mental states has changed, that is clear. But, honestly, what about our attractiveness? Are we really, actually still attractive?
A stiff neck, a swollen knee or a thick elbow is anything but sexy, right?! Well, yes and no. While we could externally zero in on this so-called “blemish”, we learn to perceive what really counts: the inner values and the blessing that self care can be.
Your need to find healing stretched your world and made you go deep inside too. It made you slow down. Whatever it takes!
That may sound trite, but it’s true.
Before the diagnosis, we weren´t aware of this. And even now, afterwards, we have to work hard for it.
But if we succeed in understanding how important and beautiful and strong and incredibly tough we really are, we simply let our most charming smile outshine everything else. And honestly, who cares about a thick knee in the face of sunshine?
Being so aware of our own imperfection, we often can´t believe that someone is making a move on us or responds to our wink. Aren´t we so obviously not perfect?
The truth is: We are perfect just as we are. Because it’s the little imperfections that make us real and true and honest – and therefore so much more attractive. Especially in the long run.
For only we ourselves are so critical towards ourselves. Anyone else rather sees what we’re good at – our radiant public side, so to speak. Just think about it. Would you be that critical if it came to your best friend? Surely you would not. 😉 Only with ourselves we are thet hard and unforgiving.
If you have a partner who can support you, who strengthens your back and who, if it is necessary, even lifts you over the one or other obstacle sometimes – in the truest sense of the word – then you know what I am talking about anyway. Then being attractive, in the eyes of another person, is not even a question. – It is a fact. It is very helpful to learn to see ourselves through the eyes of others.
Ok, up to this point you have learned about a way to see how awesome you really are. But what about, ahem, the physical side of your relationship? Will the intimacy with your partner or spouse suffer from your illness?
Hm, hard to say, yes and no. You will have moments, for example during an acute attack of pain, when even little things like putting on a pair of socks, become almost impossible. In such moments, the last thing you desire is a marathon in bed.
At other times you’ll want nothing more. And then you´ll be able to. – Because someone who regularly endures rheumatic pain, can not be stopped by any old headache any more. 😉
Also, as a rheumatism optimist, a “Rheuma Optimist”, we sometimes have a good head start when it comes to meeting the so highly praised (and yes, sometimes even superficial), common beauty standards like clear skin and a slim athletic body.
Because we Rheuma Optimists work for our health – every day, 365 days a year, every year, always. And with our self-discipline concerning exercise and diet, we are oftentimes many steps ahead of so many non-rheumatics, who are not reminded every moment of every day that their weaker self so often wins.
So, you see, like always it is the attitude that is crucial!